Pondering thoughts

Sometimes finding the silver lining in the clouds is rough.  Being able to find a happy medium can be somewhat difficult.  It has been two awesome weeks of a little get away with my boys, working in the box office for the play, and tackling normal life activities.  However there are some downsides to all of this.  MY body is getting even.  I am back to sleeping 12+ hours a day, my chemo regimen is off, as well as the summer heat has me butt dragging.  My lymphocytes are still running high. 

But when I think of how crappy I feel, I think of my uncle who is battling Stage 4 Lymphoma.  My mother and aunts are his 24 hour a day caretakers, and he is on hospice.  I also cannot help to thing of those many millions of Cancer patients who have lost the battle to this terrible disease.  Being exhausted is one thing by losing this battle is another.  I may feel crappy, but I am not losing.

I am asked on a daily basis how I cope so well, or I get commended on my attitude.  Well today its not quite up to par.  I dont have the energy to do much more than rest.  The house looks like a tornado hit it and the basement is the bottomless pit of boy stuff.   BUT I will keep plugging along. Thinking of the positive keeps me afloat.  I have amazing friends with their unfailing love, devotion, and friendship.  I have 3 boys who even though they drive me crazy are truly wonderful!  Most of ALL I have a husband who goes to work for 12 hours at a time and NEVER ever complains how hard he works or how little I do when I don't feel well.