NO coincidences.

Amie, ME, and Mary Kay

 
I am a firm believer that there are no coincidences in life.  After having a great weekend in SLC with my two youngest boys, I had decided to stay over and make a trip to up to Huntsman.  I have shared my story of "the Chemo Bunny."  After I had my blood draw, weight, and blood pressure, I asked my nurses if they have seen him recently and was told NO.  So I decided to head right on over to infusion and leave one of my FightStrong bracelets for him.  When I asked at infusion, the receptionist says...OH yes, and hes here today... Really??  WOW I was so excited and surprised...and she said "you ought to see what he's wearing today, his shirt says BLEEP CANCER, I'm going running.  SO when I walked back to infusion standing right in the middle of a crowd was my HERO, once again spreading sunshine to others!  He greeted me with a hug and we chatted for a minute.  My boys and I were able to pass out more bracelets to other patients while infusing.  I thoroughly believe this journey we are on is all about interaction with others!  HOW awesome is that, that when I decided on a stay over trip, my friend would be there in his (BLEEP) Cancer shirt and all!
 
It was also awesome to see the two amazing women who have encouraged me along, listened to my fears, made me laugh, and KEEP me alive.  MY heart was full when my 9 year old hugged my Nurse and said "Thanks for keeping my mom alive."

MY TWO awesome Nurses with my Boys

James, Amie, Jaydon, and MaryKay

A Father's Day Blog..2011

I have had a few ask me if I have updated my blog.  I am not one of those diligent people who blog on a regular basis.  In fact I think its pretty close to a miracle that I even have a blog at at.  I started this to archive my journey with CML, but am finding that even though I am fighting Cancer, the journey is about me, a person, a mom, a teacher, a sister, a daughter, and a friend.  The CML is just one part of who I am.  I am made up of many different facets and the Leukemia is just part of it.  I also think sometimes that I don't have anything to blog about.  I wait for some epiphany or some amazing story to happen in my life.  In all reality, its about the little things.  The interactions with others, the stranger who smiles at you in Wal-Mart, or the random person who you strike up a conversation with is the stories that I need to blog about I cherish every relationship I have, whether it be from the Pharmacy tech. who asks how I have been feeling, my family who inspires me, or the random stranger I strike up a conversation with.

Last week I attended a conference for teachers.  I love the creative juices that begin flowing.  I love the ideas that suddenly pop in my head.  I also love the networking I receive and being able to go with friends and just have fun.  I think sometimes I laughed so hard that it hurt.  In my journey I have made a new friend.  She inspires me with her unfailing cheerful attitude.  She always has a smile or kind word and if you ever take her shopping you better have some stamina for power shopping. ;)

Today we celebrate Father's day.  I cannot help but think of my dad who died when I was not even four years old. I know its a sad day for many who miss their fathers.   I also went to visit my Dad (step-dad if you get technical, but to me, hes my Dad) and I felt very sad for him as this is his first Father's Day without his Dad.  Tomorrow will be the memorial service for my Grandpa Clark.  I cannot even imagine the pain and loss my Dad is feeling.  I have mourned a child, and most recently mourned the fact that Cancer has effected my life.  I on the other hand have NO clue what he is feeling.  I don't have the words to console him other than a hug and telling him that I am sorry.  I did take him some homemade noodles, and in my way, giving him comfort food is how I comfort.  It was also nice to do a good deed.  I took a pot over to my brother-in-law who just underwent an appendectomy and made some apple crisp for my grandpa.  Giving to others always makes me feel good.

I have learned in my life, that when you feel good, you give service to to others.  I have also learned that when you feel bad, you give service to others.  SO today I felt pretty good.  I am tired, which I am used to but I feel pretty good.  I am blessed to have 3 boys and a loving husband.  So as we celebrate Father's all around today, I celebrate one more day that I am here to wish those around me a "Happy Father's Day."

Relay for Life....changed my life

When I joined a relay team I had no clue the impact it would have on me.  I wanted my own team, but I also know my limitations and the weakness the chemo inflicts on me.  I know the turmoil one feels to hear at the age of 40, you have a rare type of leukemia.  I have cried, listened to my children cry as they worry about me, and cheerfully fight the best I can.  I have been so extremely ill that I had to crawl to the bathroom and drinking water has been a major feat. So I know firsthand how horrible this ordeal can be.  I wanted to do something, make an impact, and fight!

ME...the CML Warrior

So, I joined Simplot's team.  A great team with a bunch of awesome people working their butt's off to raise money for ACS.   I recruited my awesome little sister and my cousin.   I started pretty late in the game, bur for 5 weeks, I asked for donations, sold bracelets and sent numerous emails.  I had a luminary party and with my sister and friend we made luminaries to honor our loved ones fighting and one for Johns uncle who lost his battle.  When the day arrived I eagerly began my new journey as a "relayer."  So, for an amazing 24 hour period, I was delivering balloons, decorating, getting prepared, celebrating, walking, and helping clean up.  My time walking and celebrating was spent thinking of others, especially my Grandma, Grandpa, and Uncle fighting and my uncles and cousin who have lost their battle!  I also met so many awesome fighters and supporters.

My joy was when my dear friend who has supported me from day one, lead an amazing group of our students in the choir she began at our school.  Her tiny speech of how Cancer was personal to us because of my battle made my heart burst!   I did not know how many people were watching, but when she had me stand up I could barely see through the tears as their performance was dedicated to me!  I am humbled and extremely honored!  At the end of their inspiring and emotionally moving performance I went to congratulate them.  IT was one of the most moving moments of my life, when an impromptu group hug of about 25 of my students embraced me!  There are NO words to explain what I felt.

I made my first survivor lap and it was a joy as I tried to think of the past 5 months I have battled this monster trying to take over my body!  I was overjoyed and touched by emotion as I watched so many people walk.  As my husband met me on the other side, I realized it was just part of this journey.  What a great strength SO many people are.  I was in awe as I saw people pushing walkers, wheelchairs, holding small toddlers fighting, and children battling, all walking together for an amazing cause.  My favorite was the lighting of the luminaries and my chance to think about my family fighting and why I fight: for an amazing hubby and my 3 boys.

As the night ended and dawn broke, survivors, fighters, and supporters kept walking.  I saw many limping, hobbling, and running.  Again, ALL for an amazing cause.  As the relay closed I felt triumphant and pretty darn tired too.

Honoring my Grandma, Grandpa, and Uncle ALL fighting!

I learned that I am stronger than I thought and this journey we are all one is truly an amazing one!  I cherish each moment I have and am in awe and encouraged by all of those fighting!